so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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