I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
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at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
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I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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