i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize