This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize