id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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