i just sent this text using only my big toe
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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