I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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