You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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