So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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