??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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