When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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