Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize