I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
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Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
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I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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