You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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