whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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