I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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