we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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