but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize