Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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