so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
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I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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