The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
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Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
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Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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