Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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