Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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