Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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