and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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