The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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