Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
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The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
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Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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