Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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