Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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