So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shirt... Was in my pants
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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