I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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