I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize