Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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