Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...

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(864): If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late... http://tfl.nu/m8kg

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(212): View more from New York

yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?

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(212): yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT? http://tfl.nu/zjw1

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(240): View more from Maryland

captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.

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(240): captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink. http://tfl.nu/r79d

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?

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(570): does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid? http://tfl.nu/ldlo

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(310): View more from California

Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.

(310): View more from California

Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.

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(310): Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her. (310): Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse. http://tfl.nu/0qfy

Replies (18) Good night (4463) Bad night (1528)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.

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(484): Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/jyp5

Replies (14) Good night (7816) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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(586): View more from Michigan

May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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(586): May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner. http://tfl.nu/u3lx

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(702): View more from Nevada

It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...

(775): View more from Nevada

yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

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(702): It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me... (775): yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift. http://tfl.nu/mwdt

Replies (25) Good night (5403) Bad night (710)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.

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(937): I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens. http://tfl.nu/zmnj

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it

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(606): I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it http://tfl.nu/8mat

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(555): View more from

After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.

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(555): After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire. http://tfl.nu/pn7x

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.

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(814): i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone. http://tfl.nu/kja0

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(541): View more from Oregon

Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.

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(541): Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached. http://tfl.nu/gtou

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(503): View more from Oregon

That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO

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(503): That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal. (1-503): THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO http://tfl.nu/95vh

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(785): View more from Kansas

We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.

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(785): We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool. http://tfl.nu/h5uz

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