I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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