Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
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For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
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You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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