I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize