kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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