I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
When are your genitals available?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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