had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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