i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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