Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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