I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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