onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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