People in love make me want to vomit
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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