What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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