he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
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Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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