is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
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He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
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I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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