Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
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Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
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2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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