if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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